10 Jul Why should I choose adoption?
It only takes one time – in the heat of a moment you start down a path that changes your life forever. Staring down at a positive pregnancy test, suddenly everything changes. What do you do now? Women of all ages, of all walks of life, have been in your shoes. Young, old, married or unmarried, an unplanned pregnancy affects everyone.
There are many things to consider when weighing your options, including your personal relationships, your current emotional and financial state and even your hopes and aspirations for the future.
Whether you are married or unmarried, a baby can significantly affect your personal relationships. If you are not currently in a relationship with the father of the baby, or if he has chosen not to be involved in the baby’s life, you must consider the challenges you will face as a single parent and whether that is a road you are willing to take.
Likewise, if you are in a relationship with the father you must also evaluate whether that relationship is healthy. If you are in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship you should understand that a baby will not automatically heal the relationship, nor is it a good environment in which to raise your baby. Also consider that if the father is unmotivated, unable to find or keep a job, or has other personal issues in his life right now, a baby will just add to that stress, compounding the issue even more.
If you are already raising children, think of how adding another child will impact their lives. If you are struggling in your current situation, it will only compound with another child. The addition of another child to the current family dynamic will mean more financial and emotional strain on yourself, which could in turn affect your children. If you have to work additional hours to meet the financial needs of a larger family, then not only are you adding to your stress, but you are not as able to meet the emotional needs of your current children.
You also need to consider your future. If you previously had hoped to attend college, live in another state, or get a better job, you should evaluate whether or not a baby will fit into that picture as well, or if you are willing to postpone those plans until your child is grown.
Choosing adoption is the least selfish choice you could make. Whether it is for financial or personal reasons, the choice is yours to make. If you do not feel you are emotionally ready to parent, if you don’t want to put your college plans on hold, or even if you simply don’t think you can afford to raise a child – each reason is a valid one for choosing not to parent. Not only will choosing adoption allow you to do what you feel is best for yourself, but it is also giving your child a chance at a life with a family who want desperately to be a parent to a child.