06 Jun What to Say When Meeting Adoptive Parents
After you browse adoptive family profiles and select your favorite family, it can be hard to know for sure if they will be the right parents for your child. Speaking with and meeting adoptive parents can help you decide. Think about the values you want your child to learn and what type of parents you desire for your child and know that you don’t have to make compromises. After all, you’ve probably spent countless hours imagining what type of life your child could have. Meeting adoptive parents and speaking with them allows you to make that life a reality.
Questions to Ask When Meeting Adoptive Parents
Once you’ve decided on meeting adoptive parents by speaking to them on the phone or on zoom or in person, it’s helpful to be prepared. Here are some questions to help you make the most of your first conversation while at the same time building a relationship:
- What kind of relationship would you like to have after the baby is born?
- Does your extended family support the fact that you’re adopting?
- How and when will you tell my child they were adopted?
- When did you decide you wanted to start a family?
- Why did you choose to start your family through adoption?
- How long will you stay at home with my baby?
- Once you go back to work, what are your childcare plans?
- What will you call me, the birth mother, when you talk to him/her?
Assess How it Went
After you meet potential adoptive parents, take a minute or two to think about your conversation. Do you feel like it went well? What’s your first impression of the couple? What’s your gut feeling about them? Then, let your Cradle of Hope social worker know if you’d like to take the next step and match with the adoptive couple or if you’d like to meet with them again.
What if the call didn’t go so well? If you feel like the adoptive couple is asking too many uncomfortable questions (or if you feel disrespected), let them know. You can always tell your Cradle of Hope social worker after the call if you want to meet other possible families. There’s no requirement that you must match with or talk again to the very first family if you don’t want to!
Some birth mothers find that it takes a while until they find the perfect family for their child. So be prepared and be ready to adjust to change when it happens. If you don’t hit it off with the first adoptive family you meet, Cradle of Hope can arrange a meeting with other families of your choosing.