14 May Telling Your Family About Your Unplanned Pregnancy
Finding out unexpectedly that you are pregnant can be an earth-shattering moment, leaving you overwhelmed with emotions, fear, and stress. You can be left struggling to figure out what to do and what is the best choice for you and your unborn baby. You may feel ready and up for the challenge of motherhood, even if the pregnancy has occurred at an inopportune time.
On the other hand, however, you may know that at this time, you aren’t ready to be a mother or simply are not in the right circumstances to raise a child the way you’d want to. You may decide that placing your child for adoption is the best choice.
An unplanned pregnancy should never be something that any woman should deal with alone. A strong support system is key to help you with the many stresses, pressures, and challenges of pregnancy. Having a kind ear to listen or just someone to give you a hug can you make the best decision for your baby. However, many women dread telling their friends or family their news, worried about being met with anger or disappointment. While sadly in some cases this is true, many families are able to rally around the mother, uplifting and supporting her.
Let’s take a closer look at the best way to let your friends and family know that you’re expecting.
Find the Right Time
Choosing the right time to tell your loved ones is important. It is understandable for friends and family to be concerned, confused, or even angry at first. So, it is important to choose a time when there are no pre-existing stresses. Depending on the dynamics of your family, it may be better to break the news one-on-one or in small groups, in a quiet spot without distractions. You may feel better with a close friend by your side for support.
Explain Your Decision
Let your friends and family know that you considered all of your options, and ultimately decided that adoption was the best plan for you and your baby. You’ve spoken with an adoption counselor and learned about the adoption process. You’ll be able to choose the adoptive family and stay in touch with them and the baby.
Give them Time to Process Things
Remember when you first found out that you were pregnant and how you felt at first: the shock, the fear, the rush of emotions. As time went by, you calmed down and were able to get used to the idea of pregnancy and think through your options rationally. Your family will go through the same feelings when you first break the news, so you may need to give them time to process the information and come around to the idea.
Prepare Yourself
It is important to know that you don’t have to make a final decision about adoption until your baby is born but having an adoption plan in place can ease your fears or anxieties about the pregnancy or birth. Having a plan will also help to ease minds when you share your pregnancy with family and friends.
Be Safe
If you have a friend or family member that has a history of violence or irrational responses, then you’ll need to make sure that you keep you and your baby safe. Think about bringing a friend with you to break the news or telling them in a public place. You don’t even need to tell them if they won’t be directly involved. The decision is up to you. Don’t feel that you have to associate with anyone who makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
If you feel unable to involve your family in your pregnancy and adoption decision, then it is important that you find support somewhere else, such as through a support group or adoption agency like Cradle of Hope. Having people around to help and support you through your pregnancy will make your journey much more smooth.